The Law of the Mirror

More often than not, when it comes to our own growth, we have more doubts, more fears, and more excuses as to why we can accomplish a goal or why we won’t be successful.

Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time and energy needed to develop yourself.

Denis Waitley

Having confidence in yourself is easier said than done. You’ve likely been through challenging seasons and you’ve probably failed at something that was important to you. These experiences have an impact on your confidence when they happen. However, having low self-esteem can put a hard stop on our potential and can inhibit our growth.

Sometimes, the value—or lack thereof—that we put on ourselves, comes from the value others have placed on us. The problem is, we will never be able to outperform the way we think about ourselves. So, if you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you won’t.

How do we build our self-image?

1. Guarding your self-talk. Take time to really think about how you speak to yourself. We have over 50,000 thoughts a day. How many of those are positive? How often are you judging yourself? Take time to slow down and intentionally give yourself a positive talk. I like how Jon Acuff says it: "Self-care starts with self-talk."

2. Stop the comparison. Your journey is unique to you. Your journey is not meant to look like anyone else’s. That’s what makes our world great and that is why so many individuals are successful. Lean into your gifts and focus on those. Comparing yourself to someone else will only feed more negative self-talk and distract you from your goals.

3. Moving beyond your limiting beliefs. If you don’t believe you can accomplish something, you’re going to talk yourself out of trying. The only way to truly fail is by not trying at all. Determine what beliefs are holding you back. Write them down. Now create a statement that turns that limiting belief into an affirmation to act on what you’re wanting.

4. Adding Value to others. How do we do this? Making a difference in someone else’s life and serving others will lift your low self-esteem. Adding value to someone usually means that person will add value to you.

5. Doing the right thing, even if it’s the hard thing. Part of building self-esteem is doing the right thing because it will give you a strong sense of satisfaction.

6. Practicing a small discipline daily in a specific area of your life. Self-worth is based upon positive habits that we practice daily. Is there an area in your life that is currently overwhelming you? What can you implement to make it less overwhelming? Take small steps each day to improve in that area. Taking big leaps will be frustrating and even more overwhelming. Small steps each day.

7. Celebrating small victories. When you take a small step in the direction you want, do you celebrate it? Or do you brush it off because “it’s not a big deal?” Taking the time to celebrate the small steps is great for you. It allows you to enjoy the journey versus focusing solely on the outcome.

8. Embracing a positive vision for your life based on what you value. John Maxwell says, “If you have a positive vision for your life and you take action to fulfill that vision, then you will more readily recognize that your life matters.”

9. Practicing a one-word strategy. If you could pick only one word to describe yourself, what would it be? This will tell you a lot about how you think about yourself. This is a great indicator of your self-talk and how to turn it around.

10. Take responsibility for your life. Change isn’t easy but necessary for growth. Placing boundaries in your life will be uncomfortable, but necessary to cultivate positive changes in your life. You need to believe in yourself and take action on what you want. Move forward.

If you don’t realize that you have genuine value and that you are worth investing in, then you will never put in the time and effort needed to grow to your potential.

John Maxwell